Nurture Notes- June 12, 2019
Personal Photo. Card from a deck called “Affirmators”
Clarity in the Midst of Nonstop Mental Chatter
In the late 1950’s to mid-1960’s there was a doll called a “Chatty Cathy”. You would pull Chatty Cathy’s string and she would begin talking. When I experience nonstop mental chatter I often think of it like a Chatty Cathy doll with a broken string; especially if my mental chatter is negative (e.g., judgments, worry, berating myself for not being perfect, etc.). I’m not alone with my anxious mind, tendency to overthink/ruminate, and (sometimes) loud inner critic.
In my experience, and in the experience of my clients, nonstop mental chatter can be overwhelming, exhausting, and sometimes paralyzing. For instance, many people who are recovering from disordered eating or eating disorders experience nonstop mental chatter about their food choices and their bodies. If you’re currently expending all your mental energy anxious about food, worrying that you’ve eaten too much/not exercised enough, ruminating about calories/points/macros, and judging the size and shape of your body, there’s not a lot of mental space left for learning, creating, connecting, and experiencing life. You can replace food and body thoughts with any intrusive thoughts (worry about how you’re parenting, getting all As in college, your work, etc.) and the results are the same- not enough mental space left for other aspects of your life.
The affirmation about clarity in the picture above is from a deck of cards called “Affirmators.” I invite you to start recognizing the difference between your mental chatter and your inner wisdom, or intuition. Inner wisdom focuses on how you feel in your body. Start to get to know your body. For instance when you’re feeling stressed, where do you feel it in your body? In your head, chest, jaw, neck, shoulders, throat, etc.? Does your heart start beating rapidly, do your shoulders or jaw tense, or do you experience other physical sensations? Are the sensations pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral? You can repeat this exercise for other mood states and in other situations (e.g., sleepy, ill, restless, relaxed, hungry, full, and so on) to become familiar with your unique set of bodily cues. Over time, you will gain confidence in trusting what your body is telling you and will be able to use this information in order to care for yourself.
Mental chatter (distractions, thoughts, rules, judgments) interferes with your ability to focus on your inner wisdom. While you are working on getting to know your body you can also practice pausing and noticing your mental chatter. What types of thoughts are repetitive and intrusive? Do your intrusive thoughts center on a particular belief, worry, or judgment? After you’re able to notice your thoughts, you can practice identifying them as such. For example, “I’m having a thought that I shouldn’t eat lunch because I had a big breakfast.” This exercise helps you to practice separating yourself from your thoughts. Thoughts are only thoughts, and we have thousands of them per day. Shift the focus back to your body- what sensations are you feeling? Are the sensations pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral? If you notice that you have a headache, your stomach is growling, and you can’t concentrate, perhaps these are cues your body is giving you that it’s time to eat! Remember, you were having a thought that you shouldn’t eat lunch but your body (your inner wisdom) was giving you cues that it needs fuel. In the moments that we are able to accept our inner wisdom, we gain true clarity about what our needs really are.
