The Myth of the “Beach Body”

Summer is on its way, and thus begins the onslaught of articles, posts, etc. about working on your “beach body”. You know the ads, articles, and product pitches I’m talking about? There is an attractive, thin, (usually) white, young, tan person in a bathing suit. Often it’s someone whose picture has been digitally altered to make their skin smoother and more tan, their waist slimmer, and give the appearance of more muscle definition. Sometimes the ads feature a “before and after” comparison of a person and a digitally altered version where they have lost weight, have newly ripped abs and arms, etc. Ugh! Who else is tired of the messages that our bodies aren’t acceptable in their current form, only people with lean bodies deserve to be in a bathing suit at the beach, and that our sole purpose in life is to be attractive to others? You are? Good. Me too!

Putting on a bathing suit and going to the beach or pool is tortuous for people who dislike their bodies, have experienced stares and comments about their bodies, and have spent their time comparing their body to everyone else’s (aka “compare and despair”). Being preoccupied with how you look in a bathing suit is probably not what you envisioned when you planned your vacation. If you’re going on vacation this summer, think about the reasons you decided to plan a getaway. Are they to deprive yourself of food, say disparaging things to yourself about your appearance, and spend your time being worried about what everyone else thinks of your body? I didn’t think so.

There is a popular meme floating around social media in various forms making a point that to have a beach body all you need to do is have a body and go to the beach. I appreciate the message that all bodies are good bodies and worthy of being at the beach no matter what size, shape, ability level, etc. Yet, I understand the discomfort people experience even at the mere thought of having to put on a bathing suit and go out in public. I feel sad when I hear stories about people who won’t wear shorts even if it’s hot outside, keep a towel wrapped around them at all times, or won’t get into the pool to cool off because they hate their bodies or think that they are not acceptable.

The myth of the “beach body” is that we can permanently change our body so we can look fabulous in a bathing suit and thus, we will have the best life or the best vacation of all time. A story that I’ve hear over and over again from clients is that no matter how much weight they lose/how toned their muscles are, they still hate their body’s appearance and feel self-conscious, worried, etc. Even when their body sizes changed, they still didn’t feel fabulous and weren’t enjoying their life. In fact, their anxiety, worry, and preoccupation with food increased dramatically. The main problem is the narrative we tell ourselves about how we need to change our bodies before we deserve a happy, fulfilled life.

We have the ability to change the narrative. What if we started enjoying life right now regardless of what of our bodies looks like? If you are in a bathing suit this summer and start to hear your inner critic make disparaging comments- pause, notice the thoughts and how the thoughts make you feel. Reframe the thoughts into something neutral. For example, if you hear your inner critic saying, “My stomach is so fat” pause and notice that you had a thought that your stomach is fat. Perhaps you notice that you feel annoyed. Then you can respond with something neutral like “I’m still going swimming” or “The sun feels amazing on my bare stomach.” I will be doing this too when I go on vacation. No one is immune from having negative thoughts about their body because we’re all surrounded by messages encouraging us to hate our bodies and change our appearances.

I would love to hear positive affirmations you give yourself when you have negative thoughts about your body. Please leave comments below!

Nurture Notes- May 4, 2019