Nurture Notes- September 23, 2019

Photo by Martin Jernberg @martinjernberg via Unsplash

Goals and Steps

People who decide to climb Mount Everest amaze me. Hearing stories of climbers’ perseverance at overcoming challenges is inspirational. The ability of the human body to adapt to the thinning air at 29,000 feet is a marvel. I can’t imagine what the view is like or what it would feel like to accomplish such a feat. I’m happy to live vicariously through the climbers’ stories because I would definitely freeze before reaching the summit!!

People who attempt to reach the summit of Mount Everest can teach us a great deal about setting and working toward goals. These lessons can be useful in any kind of goal-setting that you do in your life: eating disorder recovery goals, professional goals, etc. No one who climbs Mount Everest starts at base camp and goes straight to the summit. There is planning to be done and preparation for the physical, mental, and emotional challenges that will be encountered. Climbers practice hiking up to higher camps and then hike back down to base camp in order to acclimate their bodies to tolerate less oxygen at higher altitudes. Planning, preparation, repetition, and evaluation are essential components that help us work toward our personal goals.

Here are a few lessons we can all use for setting and working toward goals:

Lesson #1- Select a goal that aligns with your personal values. A Mount Everest climber who wants to reach the summit because “it would be rad” might have a tough time reaching their goal because something being rad doesn’t reflect a deep core value. When things get tough on the mountain, “rad” may not suffice as motivation to endure and persevere. Core values are things of great importance to you— family, faith, perseverance, respect, generosity, kindness, etc. Here is an activity to help you align your goals with your personal values. “My goal is to (fill in goal). I want to accomplish this goal because (fill in your reasons). This goal is important to me because I value (fill in things that are important to you).” Here is a completed example: “My goal is to throw away my bathroom scale. I want to accomplish this goal because weighing myself has a negative impact on my mood and my body image. Weighing myself every day is affecting my nutritional status and my relationships. This goal is important to me because I value kindness, self love, my family, and my overall health.”

Lesson #2- Planning and preparation. In order to reach the summit, Everest climbers have a general plan of what they will do and when. Sketch out a general plan of what you need to do to reach your goal and set some timelines for each step. Climbers prepare for a variety of situations because they never know when they might need extra supplies, support, etc. or when they will experience inclement weather, injuries, or the like. Prepare for challenges you are likely to encounter and that you could encounter. While we can’t prepare for all situations, we can do our best to identify and prepare for some challenges before they arise. What will you need to accomplish your goal? Consider things that are tangible and intangible. Do you need the emotional or financial support of others? What about the time needed to work on your goal? Will you need the assistance of a professional (e.g., coach, therapist, doctor, counselor, dietician, etc.) Behavioral goals are especially challenging if what we’re trying to change is habitual. If your goal is addressing something that you do frequently, automatically, have done for a long time, and do without effort, lots of self-awareness and self-compassion will be needed!! Invite non-judgmental curiosity into the process. Remember that you’re human and worthy of kind self-talk.

Lesson #3- It’s okay to modify or change your goal. It’s also okay not to reach your goal. Not everyone who attempts to climb Mount Everest reaches the summit even with great planning, a good attitude, and perseverance. Unexpected events happen along the way that may interfere with us reaching our goals. Be open to the unexpected. Challenges are an invitation to learn something new, develop or practice skills, and they keep us grounded. Take a look at your original goal again - does your goal still reflect your values? Are the steps to reach your goal feasible? If not, consider modifying or changing goal (or even abandoning it- hey, it’s your life!).

One more thing- say thank you to those who help you along your journey. None of us accomplish goals without the help, support, and/or love of others.

XO Nicole