Diet Culture: The Uninvited Holiday Guest
The holidays are right around the corner…and with that comes a variety of conflicting feelings. It’s normal to feel a sense of excitement and anticipation, while simultaneously experiencing feelings of dread, worry, anxiety, and so many more. There’s always a lot to do, prepare for, and manage this time of year AND it’s especially challenging if you’re recovering from disordered eating or an eating disorder.
There’s one guest that’s not invited to any of my holiday events this year- diet culture! I encourage you to uninvite party crashers like diet culture rules, ED (your eating disorder voice), your inner perfectionist, and any other "guests" who ruin holiday gatherings. Easier said than done, I realize, because other people you celebrate the holidays with may bring diet culture chatter and rules with them.
Unhelpful nutrition “information”, food-related fearmongering, and judgment are present all year long, AND often are vocalized more loudly this time of year. As you make plans for the holidays, here are some of my favorite tips to help you prepare and care for yourself:
#1- Proactive self-care: While we can’t predict all circumstances or control what someone will say in a social situation, we can prepare an “emergency kit” of sorts.
Boundaries- are there any “courageous conversations” (thank you Jessica Setnick, RD for that gem!) that you need to have with family members or friends about your fears and needs?
Support network- can you identify (with their permission) a short of list of people you could text or call for support?
Space- can you identify one or more spaces where you can have some privacy to decompress?
Saying “no”- what do you need to say “no” to this holiday season?
BYO food- what snacks or foods do you (or might you) need to bring with you to ensure you have enough to nourish yourself?
Comfort items- what do you need to bring with you for comfort (e.g., blanket, journal, headphones/air pods, etc.)?
#2- Go-to responses: Actors rehearse for the stage before they go on for the show. You can do the same when you’re preparing for the holidays. Think about possible topics or conversations that may be activating and practice how you’ll respond.
Transitioning the conversation away from diet culture talk- if someone begins telling you about their recent diet/food restrictions, practice how you can shift the conversation. For example, use humor “Oh, uh huh…well, other than avoiding dessert what else have you been up to?” or transition the topic to something non-diet related “Speaking of sugar, have you been watching the most recent season of ‘The Great British Bakeoff’?”
Enforce boundaries- if you’ve had a “courageous conversation” with someone about how their comments feel to you, practice enforcing a boundary. For example, “Remember last week we discussed how comments about my food choices make me feel anxious? Could you please remember to not make comments about what or how often I eat? Thank you.”
#3- Other helpful tips: Here are a few other tips to experiment with this holiday season.
Keep your eyes on your own plate! It’s not helpful to compare how much or what you’re eating to anyone else.
Remind yourself that you deserve to eat foods you enjoy and that you don’t need to compensate for anything you ate or will eat. Remember to eat throughout the day no matter what time holiday meals are served.
Plan time to decompress after events or travel. Make appointments with your treatment team so you can process what came up for you.